I recently had some sewing projects I wanted to work on before leaving for a trip. My anxiety gets the best of me when I have unstructured time and tells me that I should work on something "important" if I have free time. Intellectually, I know it's important to get away from the desk and do things I enjoy. But I struggle with insecurities about my "success" as a business owner and wife and always think I should do more before I "deserve" time to do something I enjoy.

What can I say? My mind is full of contradictions battling each other for who will reign supreme.

But I needed to get the sewing done before the trip so I could wear this cute costume piece for one of the nights of this trip.

So, I made an appointment with two good friends who also had some sewing and costuming projects they wanted to work on.

While working together, I never felt that sense of "I should do something else." I was there nurturing my friendships, giving them guidance on their projects while they gave me reassurance on mine. We were there for each other. I finished my sewing project, and everyone else either finished or made significant progress.

There are several ways to use the help of others as motivation to get shit done and perhaps help that person as well.

Unprocrastination Day: Tackling Tasks Together

If you have a list of errands you've been putting off, why not enlist a friend to accompany you on these tasks? Your friend may also have a set of errands they've been wanting to tick off their list. Schedule an Unprocrastination Day - a day for tackling all those dreaded tasks - with a friend and alternate between your tasks. You'll drive each other to get more and more done and can breathe a sigh of relief when those nagging projects are finally off your plate!

Accountability Partner: Long-Term Goal Support

For longer-term goals, enlist a friend or coworker for moral support. The best person for the job is someone who will remember to ask you about your goals occasionally, offer feedback to help you direct your efforts, and act with kindness and empathy when things get off track.

Let's say you want to organize your office by the end of next week. You would tell your colleague what you hope to get done. They may ask if you have a strategy and offer you some tips if you are receptive to them. Then, they may ask you how your efforts are going every couple of days. Even if you procrastinate on getting started, these gentle reminders will remind you of your goal and motivate you to organize your supplies. After all, you want that feeling of accomplishment and to report that you finished what you set out to do. It feels gratifying to have someone to share your success with, even more so when that person understands your struggle to accomplish your goal.

Small Group Meet-Ups: Collaborating on Tasks

In sewing circles, the small group meet-up is called a "Stitch 'n Bitch." Knitters and crocheters have similar gatherings. Everyone brings a project to work on. They will all get a sense of community as they chat about their lives while working on their projects. It can be cathartic to be around people with similar interests. Also, when you're stuck on a step, you have some helpful friends to give you feedback.

But this concept can go beyond arts and crafts. What if everyone brought a box of papers to go through and organize? During tax time, everyone can get together to work through tax documents. You could even all get together to declutter photos on your phone. Your group can focus on any project with easily transportable components.

Body Doubling: Boosting Motivation Together

Finding a time when all your friends can gather in one room can be challenging. Also, you may have a larger project with components that can't be moved efficiently from your home. Luckily, other options are readily available to connect you to those who are also ready to focus.

Body doubling is a tactic that has become popular in the neurodivergent world, but anyone who needs just a little oomph to their motivation can easily use it. A body doubling session includes at least two people, each with a task they want to focus on. They share the tasks they want to work on and then start the timer for the designated time frame. Then, at the end, they reveal what they were able to accomplish and do a little happy dance. Ok, the happy dance is not required, but celebrating your accomplishments will motivate you to achieve more.

There hasn't been much scientific research into why body doubling works. Anecdotally, those who have found success with body doubling report feeling more grounded to the task at hand when seeing another person also working. I personally am motivated by the slight social pressure of telling someone I am doing something and don't want to report back that I "failed."

Body doubling sessions are super flexible. They can be accomplished in person with a friend or with a complete stranger. When you connect with friends, you can set a date to meet or log onto Facetime, Google Hangouts, or another messaging app with video capabilities.

If your schedules do not align, there are virtual options to pair you with another person in the world. Services like FocusMate and Flow Club will pair you with someone who is also looking for an online body double. Some of these services will pair you with someone immediately after you log in and give them a few parameters. You don't necessarily need to plan ahead! There is also the advantage of working alongside someone you are less familiar with, as the temptation to gossip about the latest drama among your circle of friends will not be there.

Humans are social creatures. When we enlist the help of others, it builds a sense of camaraderie, determination, and motivation. We get the opportunity to share our success with others, which contributes to higher self-confidence, which will further fuel us to accomplish more. Whether you need to finish a bunch of tasks like getting those donations out of your car and dropped off at a charity shop or have a longer-term project like organizing your home, engaging others with similar tasks will help provide the motivation needed to take action.